It's impossible to write 365 bad sonnets in a row

While I was looking for the text for "Charles on Fire" online, I found a blog called The Sonnet Project. Which I thought was pretty weird considering "Charles on Fire," to my knowledge, is not a sonnet. But anyways. I haven't gone through it yet, but I think it's worth mentioning because the subtitle for the blog says, "A professor of writing once told his class that a good project would be to write a sonnet every day for a year. It was absolutely impossible, he said, to write 365 bad sonnets in a row. I've always wondered if he was write."

I thought it was cool. But maybe that's just because I'm a nerd.


LINK: http://thesonnetproject.blogspot.com/

"Charles on Fire" by James Merrill

A little preface, this is one of the poems we looked at in AP Lit last year, and it's my personal favorite of all the poems we read (though it may or may not be my favorite poem, as I have yet to decide between it and "Hope is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson). I think "Charles on Fire" has some of the most well-written and well-used poetic devices I've ever seen. It's elegant without being pretentious. It's complex but not at the cost of losing its original meaning. It comments on social issues without being preachy. And it's just beautiful. 

Another evening we sprawled about discussing
Appearances. And it was the consensus
That while uncommon physical good looks
Continued to launch one, as before, in life
(Among its vaporous eddies and false claims),
Still, as one of us said into his beard,
"Without your intellectual and spiritual
Values, man, you are sunk." No one but squared
The shoulders of their own unlovliness.
Long-suffering Charles, having cooked and served the meal,
Now brought out little tumblers finely etched
He filled with amber liquor and then passed.
"Say," said the same young man, "in Paris, France,
They do it this way"--bounding to his feet
And touching a lit match to our host's full glass.
A blue flame, gentle, beautiful, came, went
Above the surface. In a hush that fell
We heard the vessel crack. The contents drained
As who should step down from a crystal coach.
Steward of spirits, Charles's glistening hand
All at once gloved itself in eeriness.
The moment passed. He made two quick sweeps and
Was flesh again. "It couldn't matter less,"
He said, but with a shocked, unconscious glance
Into the mirror. Finding nothing changed,
He filled a fresh glass and sank down among us.

The 13 Clocks - James Furber & Other Fun Things

I have actually yet to read this book or even see this book. I just really want to read it. Because I am secretly a 2 year-old, and I really like fairy tale books. No shame.
Other books that I really want to read:

The Bible - It's one my bucket list! I've tried (and failed) so many times.
Merriam Webster Dictionary - Also on my bucket list! I read one of those children's dictionaries when I was younger (nerdiest thing ever), but it wasn't that long (what a nerd), so I want to get through an actual dictionary (oh my gosh, I can't handle all the nerdiness).
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Because I want to see the movie, but I want to read the book first.
Pride and Prejudice - Because apparently every girl ever has read this book, and I want to join that exclusive club.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - No judgement!
David Copperfield - To compensate for Confessions To say to all of my AP Lit friends who were required to read it last year, "Oh. It wasn't that long. I thought it was pretty cool."
The Joy Luck Club - I'm Asian.
Memoirs of a Geisha - Again, Asian.
War and Peace - Because every true intellectual has read this book (not really, but it sounds pretty cool).
Something by Kafka - Mostly shock factor. Kafka, to me, is like a literary Lady Gaga. And I just gotta read something.
Dracula - So I can read some real vampire literature.
Some trashy, campy vampire book - So I can make fun of vampire literature
The WalMart Effect - Quite frankly, I just think it sounds cool.
Columbine - I think the incident is really fascinating, especially the psychology behind it.
Queen Bees and Wannabes - It's the book that inspired Mean Girls.
Devil in the White City - I'm actually fascinated by those true-crime things and watch Dateline frequently. I also watch reality TV and court TV. I am the trashiest TV watcher in the world.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - A friend recommended it. I was fascinated.
Something by Agatha Christie - I really liked And Then There Were None. I want to read more.
Middlesex - Hooray for gender confusion! Also, it's supposed to be really good.
Never Let Me Go - Apparently it's great. I dunno. I'll find out soon enough.
Fast Food Nation - I like the cover.
Atonement - I like the premise of the story.
Me Talk Pretty One Day - This book title has got some 'splainin' to do. Also, I like the plot summaries for it.
Everything is Illuminated - Cool cover.

And now that I've spent a solid hour thinking of books I've heard of in the past and present, I think this is a solid list that'll get me through the year.

Friday

I am an extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging person, as it turns out. Otherwise known as an ENTJ. Other famous ENTJ's include Napolean Bonaparte, Hillary Clinton, and Margaret Thatcher, so I think I'm amongst good company.
Basically, we ENTJ's are good leaders who rely more on reason than feeling. We're goal-oriented and logical.
While I don't like to invest too much into thinking about personality tests. I think they provide accurate but very generalized analyses of people. I mean, yeah, I do make a lot of decisions based on logic, but if my friends and family are dying in a burning building, I might feel more inclined to make some illogical decisions. Well, the point I'm trying to make is that while it's always fun to get a feel for who you are, I find that people take these tests and treat their results like the gospel truth.
It reminds me of back in the day when girls started to discover horoscopes and decided that "Oh, I'm an Aries. I have a fiery personality," and "So you're a Virgo? We can no longer be friends, as I am a Gemini." My point being that the results of these things become more or less expectations we must fulfill rather than descriptions of who we are.
Therefore, while I do appreciate the insight, as a very intuitive and thinking (as well as extraverted and judging) individual, I kind of already knew what kind of result I would get. It was fun though. Nevertheless.

Currently,

Un Lun Dun, China Mieville

The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman

Bossypants, Tina Fey 

This week: 128 pages

Last week: An indiscernible number of pages

Sentences of the Week:

“Globalization 3.0 makes it possible for so many more people to plug in and play, and you are going to see every color of the human rainbow take part” (11). - The World is Flat

“‘Being gay is not a choice. Gay people were made that way by God,’ I’d lectured Mr. Garth proudly. But it took me another whole year to figure out the second part: ‘Gay people were made that way by God, but not solely for my entertainment’” (42). - Bossypants

“To say he was unfriendly would be the biggest understatement since the captain of the Hindenberg said, ‘I smell gas’” (61). - Bossypants


I liked the first quote because I liked the phrase "human rainbow." It sounds like a cheerleading position. Like a human pyramid but cheerier. 
I liked the second quote because I can relate to Tina Fey as I too have made this realization at one point in my life (however, my friend was black, and I was around 5, not 17, when I discovered this). 
And I liked the last one because the Hindenberg is one of my favorite historical disasters.This quote also happens to take the cake for best quote of the week. 

Bossypants

I am in love with Tina Fey’s brain.

Tina Fey begins her book Bossypants by saying there are a couple reasons as to why someone would read her book. One reason is to raise “an achievement-oriented, drug-free, adult virgin” (3). Awesome. 

Anyways, Tina Fey then goes into a short chapter about how she was a happy accident to a pair of forty-something year-old parents and about how she received a scar to the face from a stranger at a young age. No worries though. This scar proved handy in later years, making her the recipient of candy and pity throughout her childhood.

The next chapter talks about Tina Fey “growing up and liking it” (11). It basically talks about Fey’s first period and gynecologist appointment as well as a really rocking white denim suit.

The book then turns a corner, and Fey turns her attention to body image issues. As she puts it, girls today are supposed to have:

• Caucasian blue eyes
• full Spanish lips
• a classic button nose
• hairless Asian skin with a California tan
• a Jamaican dance hall ass
• long Swedish legs
• small Japanese feet
• the abs of a lesbian gym owner
• the hips of a nine-year-old boy
• the arms of Michelle Obama
• and doll tits

She on the other hand has Greek eyebrows, droopy eyes, a wad of lower-back fat, dough-around-a-soda-can hips, and flat, pale feet amongst other equally desirable features. Fey abides by one rule of beauty: “Who cares?” (114) 

The next chapter talks about Fey’s experience at a local theatre filled with heartbreaker boyfriends, blonde dancers, and a handful of gay and lesbian friends. Here, Fey begins to deviate from her more generic childhood memories and talks more about her introduction to the theatre. Except in the funniest way possible. 

Fey then takes a break from talking about her life, and instead talks about her father. Who is, apparently, a truly awe-inspiring man who fey describes as a “badass” (48). 

The next chapter is a quick and dirty rundown of Fey’s college years. By which I mean it’s a story about how Fey tries to find love in college, climbs a mountain for a guy she likes, and climbs down the mountain as boyfriend-less as ever. Oh, Tina.

Next, in the post-college era, Fey gets a job at the YMCA, convinces herself that she likes this job, and then realizes that it sucks and that she would much rather be doing improv. 

And this brings us to the next chapter which is about Fey’s time with the Second City improv group. Except not really because she was a newbie, and newbies don’t get to perform at the Second City theatre in Chicago but instead tour the city visiting small companies and church basements. Fey shares some secrets to great improv, the most important of which is to agree with everything, and then gets promoted to an actual comedian for Second City (but only because Amy Poehler moved to New York). 

Next chapter? A cruise excursion slash honeymoon slash near-death experience in which Fey and her husband, Jeff, get stuck on a cruise ship that nearly goes up in flames. No big deal. 

Next chapter’s a list of Fey’s beauty tips, one of which is “space lasers” (106). 

The subsequent two chapters are about what it’s like to be “very very skinny” and “a little bit fat” (115, 117). 

And that’s where I stopped. 

Tina Fey’s Bossypants is a quick and enjoyable read for a number of reasons, the main ones being Tina Fey is hilarious and the book has rather large print and the occasional page-consuming picture. I would recommend this book to any of my female friends as it touches on some issues that are very important (especially to girls) such as body image, (lack of) love, and discrimination in the workplace. The great thing about Fey’s book is that while it does touch on some hard issues, it talks about them in the funniest way possible whether it be through Fey’s childhood stories or through a sarcastic list peppered with Fey’s trademark biting wit. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Bossypants and would recommend it over The World is Flat and Un Lun Dun any day. Can’t wait to read it some more next week. 

The World is Flat

So I switched from Un Lun Dun to The World is Flat. Half because I really wanted to say, “Oh, I’m reading a book that is described as ‘a brief history of the twenty-first century,’” instead of saying, “Oh, I’m reading a fantasy novel written for 11 year-olds.” And half because of the curse of Un Lun Dun. 

Anyways, The World is Flat is a rather daunting book with a total of 635 pages (or 632 since it starts on page 3) with a 19-page index. The print is small, and the paper is thicker than paper found in the phone book and the Bible but much thinner than printer paper. 

The basic premise of The World is Flat is that the world is becoming smaller and equal opportunities are emerging not only for countries and companies but also for individuals. And these individuals are not all American or European males. In fact, many of them come from different parts of the world and are, as Friedman says, “every color of the human rainbow” (11). The book begins with Friedman in India where he is taken aback by the enormous amount of outsourcing in the country. He notes that many menial and simple jobs are now being shipped over seas and that only the personal, high-skill jobs remain in America. 

So far, The World is Flat gets a solid three stars from me. The idea of “the world is flat” is a gimmicky way of saying “globalization.” I was hoping for a book that just tracked history from the year 2000 and onwards. Also, I think the idea of “the world is flat” is presented in a way that makes it seem like some novel and amazing idea. But it’s not. It is, in fact, an obvious statement. And if the entire 600-some pages of this goliath is Friedman fanning himself over how incredible his discovery is (he actually compares his discovery to Columbus’s discovery that the world is large and round), then I’m dropping this book, and I’m picking up Un Lun Dun. However, to the book’s credit, it wouldn’t hurt me to learn a little about the finer details of the world shrinking in recent years, so I’m going to try to stick with it. Like a trooper. 

Un Lun Dun

What is Un Lun Dun? It is London through the looking glass, an urban Wonderland of strange delights where words are alive, a jungle lurks behind the door of an ordinary house, carnivorous giraffes stalk the streets, and a dark cloud dreams of burning the world. It is a city awaiting it’s hero, whose coming was prophesied long ago, set down for all time in the pages of a talking book. 

When twelve-year-old Zanna and her friend Deeba find a secret entrance leading out of London and into this strange city, it seems that the ancient prophecy is coming true at last. But then things go shockingly wrong. 

Un Lun Dun plays the big ol’ boulder to my Sisyphus. Here’s the SparkNotes of the Sisyphus myth: King is stupid. King is punished. King must spend eternity shoving a boulder up a cliff only to see it fall back down. Rinse and repeat. 

But anyways, I’ve tried to read Un Lun Dun on maybe five or seven separate occasions, but each time I start reading it, I lose interest or I find a far superior book. But I really want to finish Un Lun Dun because it has kicking cover art.

Hopefully Un Lun Dun lives up to the expectations set by its cover art. And if it doesn’t, worst case scenario: I drop Un Lun Dun for the 6th or 8th time and move on to greener pastures.