Finally,

How depressing! The final official blog post of the year (I may continue blogging depending on time constraints in interest; we'll see).
I think, as a reader, I was a pretty average, but snooty, reader. While I wouldn't spend my days romping around reading Shakespeare and Dickens, I thought that I was above that mainstream, teen romance stuff (what a hipster). I would read primarily fiction (typically fantasy or slice-of-life) and a little bit of nonfiction. A lot of the books I read were either books I'd read before or books that were assigned for class. I would read on my own maybe twice a week for a total of two to three hours, and I would read on the couch in my living room.
This semester, I definitely expanded my horizons. A lot more nonfiction. A lot. I actually really like nonfiction now. There's been some Japanese literature (Battle Royale and Norwegian Wood, both of which lay nearly completed beside my bed). I like to think of myself as a hummingbird reader (a metaphor that I found in a really great writing inspiration book, but am now claiming as my own). I sip a little bit of nectar from every flower and then rinse and repeat until I'm full. Which is a fancy way of saying yes, I have problems with sticking with and finishing books. I changed the things I read on a weekly basis. I told myself I wouldn't take any new books with me until I'd finished the old, but then I'd look at the chalkboard, and I heard the siren call of a fresh book. And then I caved. I choose books based on recommendations and pretty covers. I occasionally have problems meeting the page quota, but that's usually because I forgot to read during the week and saved it all for Thursday night.
I tend to read right after I get home. I sit on the couch and have at it. I do it in silence because I can't concentrate if there's good music playing, and I don't want to have bad music playing, so might as well just read in silence. I don't check my phone, but I don't think I necessarily lose myself in reading either. There are, perhaps, snippets that completely absorb me, but those tiny moments are quickly over, and I am once again grounded in reality. I don't really talk about what I'm reading on a frequent basis, but if it comes up, then I'm more than happy to do so.

My reading habits are pretty similar; however, I think I've widened my scope of interest. While my perennial favorites remain my perennial favorites, a lot of nonfiction works have begun to emerge as top contenders. I always read independently in the summer, so I can't say that this necessarily spurred my onwards. I think I'm going to finish reading all the books I have piled by the couch, the bed, the kitchen table, and wherever else they're hiding. After that, I really want to read The Night Circus out of courtesy to the nice lady who shot me a NaNoMail (for the curious and for the sake of my swelling pride, I just broke 10,000 words yesterday--oh yeah).

every single day - John Straley

I found this while searching for poems. It doesn't quite fit in my anthology, but I like it nonetheless. I think it captures the essence of what I, personally, think love is. It's not so much dewy roses and starry-eyed glances; rather, it's more about the triggers in our minds that connect emotion to memory and memory to person. 

Suppose I said the word “springtime”

and I wrote the words “king salmon”

on a piece of paper

and mailed it to you.

When you opened it

would you remember that afternoon we spent

together in the yellow boat

when the early whales were feeding

and we caught our first fish of the year?

 

Or would you remember that time off Cape Flattery

when you were a little girl:

your father smoking, telling stories as he ran the boat,

then the tug and zing of that very first fish

spooling off into the gray-green world;

you laughing and brushing back your hair

before setting the hook?

 

I know I am hard to understand sometimes

particularly when you are standing

at the post office with only a piece of paper

saying “king salmon” on it

but just think of it as a promissary note

and that electric tug, that thrill

pulling your mind into deep water

is how I feel about you every,

single day.

The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern

I recently signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, an event that happens every November in which writers try to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month), and I received NaNoMail (a clever way of saying a message from someone associated with NaNoWriMo) from one Erin Morgenstern. Morgenstern was a past NaNoWriMo participant and recently released her debut novel, The Night Circus. The Night Circus has been described by critics as Harry Potter and Twilight given its magic and star-crossed romance. Apparently, it's supposed to be the next big thing.

I don't know if I believe that, but it certainly sounds like an interesting read, and this is the first time a(n almost) famous novelist has sent me an email (albeit, a mass-produced one). So here's a note to myself and anyone else who's interested to pick up this book once it trickles down to libraries across America. I'm looking forward to it.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames - David Sedaris

So, I don't know about you, anonymous reader, but I have seen the cover of this book before. The striking skull painting, the nearly invisible title, and the intriguing lower-case author name. Yes. This strikes me as a book of substance.

Honestly, I wasn't really sure what to expect from When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris. As it turns out, When You Are Engulfed in Flames is a series of essays. Thusfar, I can see no common theme. Nothing ties these essays together, in my opinion, except quality. Also, just to clarify, when I say "essay," I don't mean that five-paragraph nonsense (foolishness, tomfoolery, claptrap, absurdity). It's more like a chapter's worth of description and reflection over a brief period of time.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames examines Sedaris's childhood, his close friends and family, his sexuality, his innate quirkiness, and other things in his life. It is humorous and engaging. Thusfar, I have read eight of his twenty-two essays in When You Are Engulfed in Flames (I wish there was a way to shorten this title, but it appreciates being completely said/read). My favorites of these essays have to be "The Understudy," "Roadtrips," and "That's Amore."

In "The Understudy," Sedaris describes a time in which he and his siblings are babysat (that just sounds morbid) by the cantankerous, unhygienic Mrs. Peacock, a woman so heinous that she forces the children to scratch her back, can only make sloppy joes, and punishes by using the children to pick up dog poo (which sounds more dignified than "turds," as Sedaris says). Sedaris's description of Mrs. Peacock and the ensuing antics that follow when he and his siblings are under her care are hilarious and, at times, reflective. Between complaining about the woman with both the imagination of a child and the sophistication of a writer, there are some genuinely reflective moments where Sedaris considers the possibility that Mrs. Peacock has some redeeming qualities. However, these moments are quickly eclipsed by Sedaris's admission that he'd rather think of the old woman as a total hag.

"Roadtrips" is a little bit more mature than "The Understudy," focusing on how Sedaris realized he was gay. Though he'd always had an inkling, it wasn't until he was picked up off the road by a couple in a Cadillac that he voices this. For those with more sensitive sensibilities, I'll spare you the gritty details, but Sedaris is confronting with a situation in which only the words "I'm a homosexual" can suffice. The essay then veers off into another story, this one about a male trucker that comes onto a rather shaken Sedaris. He declines the trucker's advances and chooses to walk instead.

"That's Amore" describes a spunky (by which I mean offensive) old lady named Helen who lives next to Dave and his partner Hugh. She is absolutely shameless. She hates minorities and the privileged. She attacks a deaf-mute at some point. Just a whole lot of old lady fun. Helen teeters on the line of crude and lovable, embodying the spirit of some disenchanted, streetwise hooker in the compact body that Sedaris says is as small as a ten-year-old girl's.

I really enjoyed When You Are Engulfed in Flames, or, at least, I've enjoyed it thusfar. There are some parts that are a little PG-13 or R, so if you're easily offended by some sexuality and crude language, then you might fare better reading something else. But if you're not, then this is a fantastic read. Sedaris is straightforward and clever. He speaks with what I think is the true voice of a writer. His writing tells a story. It's not an author showing off his writing skills; it's not a comedian telling a series of one-liners. But that doesn't mean there aren't any well-written, funny parts. Sedaris knows his book's identity and wastes no time beating around the bush, and his audience benefits from his expertise.

Pardon my French but...

...dangnabit can Miyazaki draw food.

And for some reason my etymology blog has become dominated by movie-related posts? Oh well, there'll be a return to literature after this weekend, since I only go on movie binges on long weekends.

Chihiro and Lilo are one

The voice actress for Chihiro from Spirited Away also did Lilo for Lilo and Stitch.

I was re-watching Spirited Away and just discovered this. Mind-blowing, man.

Misery - Stephen King

Unlike a lot of avid readers, I have no qualms with seeing a movie before I read the book. In fact, I find that doing this helps me enjoy both works more than if I read the book and then see the movie. I mean, the book and the movie are two different things. They're the same (basic) story as interpreted by two different people (the author and the movie director respectively).

Anyways, Misery is supposed to be one of the greatest horror/psychological thriller movies ever as well as one of the best Stephen King novel-movie adaptations ever (trumped only by The Shawshank Redemption). So when I saw it on YouTube, I naturally had to watch it.

The basic premise of Misery is that author Paul Sheldon wrecks his car in a blizzard, and is taken into the care of Annie Wilkes, his self-proclaimed number one fan. Paul is famous for his novels about a character named Misery, the namesake of the movie and Stephen King novel. Annie loves the Misery books. However, once she finds that Paul is not only writing a new, non-Misery novel but has also killed off Misery, she flies into a rage, and insists that Paul bring Misery back to life in his next book. Paul spends the next couple of weeks (or months) in Annie's care, never quite knowing if she'll greet him with a smile or a sledgehammer. He tries to escape several times, but does he ever succeed? You'll have to read/watch and see.

I thought the movie was really good. Kathy Bates really does a fantastic Annie Wilkes, but James Caan as Paul Sheldon was also quite good. I hear that the novel is even more horrific than the movie, so I'll have to pick it up some time.

The Silver Crown - Robert C. O'Brien

So, my blog has been largely neglected for the past forever. Hence, I've decided to post something new.

I bought The Silver Crown a couple of years ago for two reasons: 1.) Robert C. O'Brien also wrote Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH (which actually has a really fantastic movie adaptation, in my opinion), and 2.) the book was selling for $2.99. And since then, it's become one of those special books that I read time and time again whenever I find myself in a car hurtling through the Hoosier countryside or on a plane skimming through piles of cumulus clouds (hope you enjoyed that sudden bit poetic writing there).

Anyways, The Silver Crown sort of marks my transition from mystery novels to adventure stories. The story follows a girl, Ellen, who receives a silver crown on the day of her tenth birthday. This, she believes, proves that she is a queen. So she leaves her house and goes to a local park to hold court. Suddenly, she hears sirens in the distance. As it turns out, her house has burned to the ground, and no one made it out. Ellen resolves that she must go to her nearest relative, Aunt Sarah. But to get there, she must travel to Lexington, Kentucky. Along the way, she meets a host of villainous characters who try to take her crown, though why they would want to do that, Ellen does not know. She also meets some friends: a clever boy named Otto, the kindly old Mrs. Fitzpatrick, and Mr. Carver, a man living in the woods alone. Without giving away too much of the plot, the story circles around Ellen, the crown, and the evil forces trying to take her crown.

While The Silver Crown is aimed at 8-12 year-olds, I still find the plot pretty engaging. There's no deeper meaning. There aren't layers upon layers of symbols and extended, social metaphors. It's just the age old battle between good and evil. It's a quick read. It's an easy read. I think I picked it up recently because I've been reading a lot of pretty heavy material, and I needed something that wouldn't make me dive deeper. Just an adventure, nothing else. I mean, I guess there's some degree of character development, but it's not like I need extensive thinking to comprehend basic character development.
Anyways, if you want to read something to the tune of what you might've read ten years ago, I highly recommend The Silver Crown. It's a great break from reading really excellent, deep books. It knows what it is (an adventure), and it does a great job immersing you in its own little world.

Practice Diction Analysis

J.D. Salinger masters the voice of his protagonist, Holden Caulfield, in the first page of his novel Catcher in the Rye, using direct, colloquial, and bluntly offensive diction. Holden starts by saying that while he knows the reader would like to know about his background, he is not going to provide any information on his origins. His gruff, devil-may-care attitude exudes from the page, as he says he can’t be bothered with “all that David Copperfield kind of crap.” Holden’s trademark sense of superiority reverberates within the passage. While Holden’s language is neither profound nor particularly beautiful, it is representative of how a disenchanted teenager speaks. Holden complains that he won’t give his “whole goddam autobiography” and that his prother is far away from “this crummy place.” He has no objection to cursing, a sign of rebellion against the norm through language. Salinger breathes life into Holden by rambling and cussing, providing literature’s favorite teenage antihero with an identifiably meandering and rude voice.

[Side note: If you've never read Catcher, I highly recommend it. People tend to either love it or hate it. I love it. I think it's possibly the best thing I read last year, so if you have time for a great American classic, you should give it a read.]

Snaps for Etymology

Did anyone pick up on the Legally Blonde reference? I hope so because that was a little embarrassing considering that 1.) I can quote proficiently from a chick flick romcom, and 2.) this particular chick flick romcom happens to be a sequel (and not a particularly good one).

Anyways, so I went to a college interview today. Yep. I got to talk with a very nice lady from Smith College, so that was fun. And one of the questions she asked me was "Have you read any good books lately?" And honestly, given my reading record these past couple of years, I probably wouldn't have been able to give a particularly good answer had I not taken Etymology. I mean, it's not like I haven't read anything in recent years, but I had a whole pile of books I could talk about because of our 100/150 page a week assignment. Very helpful. For the record, we talked about Norwegian Wood, Battle Royale, Columbine, A Long Way Gone, and And Then There Were None. A pretty wide spread, if I do say so myself. I honestly don't get that. "If I do say so myself." Of course you say so; you just said it. But anyways. Moving on to the assignment (finally).

Buddha's Hand?

Random post before I put up my paragraph.
So I, for whatever reason, remembered something about this plant called Buddha's hand. And it's a fruit, but it's yellow and segmented into little knotted, gnarly poles that are supposedly Buddha's "fingers." I, again, have no idea why I thought of this, but I think it's a pretty cool fruit, albeit a little creepy. I really want to try one. It's number two on my "Fruits I Want To Eat" List (number one is starfruit and number three is dragon fruit).

Doesn't this look like some creature from the deep? Yeah, I thought so. 

Currently,

Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

This week: 170 pages
Last week: 163 pages
Semester total: 1297 pages


Favorite quotes from other people's blog posts (in no particular order, of course)


"In a passage from Cherry Adair's "Out of Sight," she uses blunt vulgarity, noisy and straight-forwardness to get her point across." - Twilight

"The stylistics of Meg Cabot's Shadowland prominently feature straightforward, conversational word choice and a devil-may-care tone for the reader." - Look Up... (Now!)

"Dessen’s raw low- key language precisely augments the conflicting feelings and tragic events of her story." - The Blog of Epic Proportions

I really like the post from Twilight because the writer uses some pretty strong language. Though the ending to the paragraph is a little trite, the rest of the paragraph stands strong. I love that the writer says the author uses "blunt vulgarity," though the rest of the sentence needs some restructuring for the sake of parallelism. Overall, it's a really good post, though it could use some fine-tuning.

I just love that the writer of Look Up... (Now!) describes the author's tone as "devil-may-care." I just love it. So. Much. The rest of the paragraph is also very solid, using a fair balance of left and right analysis. But really, I was won over by the "devil-may-care" tone. What a great word.

The Blog of Epic Proportions also had a really strong style mapping paragraph. I love using the word "raw" to describe language. It's just really powerful and to-the-point. "Augments" is another great word, as is "conflicting." There's some really good language here, so I, naturally, really like it.

Style Mapping

 The introduction of a work of literature sets the standard for the rest of the work, showing if the author is eloquent and poetic or blunt and caustic. In Neil Gaiman's Stardust, Gaiman writes poetically with colloquial language, using words that are neither dissonant nor melodious, in order to describe the setting. In contrast, Cormac McCarthy's figurative-language-heavy introduction to Blood Meridian balances both an earthy grittiness and an elevated vocabulary as McCarthy describes the surroundings. By far the simplest of all, Walker Lamond's Rules for My Unborn Son has a no-nonsense and almost journalistic approach to writing. The introductions to these three works reflect the subject matter that follows; for instance, Lamond's Rules is simply a book of short, one-sentence rules for his son, whereas McCarthy's Blood Meridian is a Western epic. Each accomplishes its purpose effectively by using different types of language.

Quartlerly

So this quarter, my reading's been a bit eclectic?

I like to believe that I'm a lot smarter and higher class than I really am. Hence, I like to read books that make me feel educated and cultured, meaning I tend to gravitate towards books of substance as opposed to teeny fiction. Not that there's anything wrong with teeny fiction, but, in general, it's not exactly a worthwhile subject of discussion ("Oh my God, that Edward guy is so freakin' hot"). However, the great thing about pretending to be better than I am by reading excellent books is that excellent books are excellent. They're really engrossing, and I thoroughly enjoy them.

This year in general, I think my reading tastes have definitely branched out. I'm kind of been bounding back and forth between fiction and nonfiction. Prior to this year, my reading was very fiction-centric, so this is a recent development. As far as where and when I read, I do the bulk of my reading after dinner in the living room of my house in front of the fireplace. It's too warm to make proper use of this fireplace, and it's not even a real fireplace, but I like to curl up there with a good book and pretend that I'm just oh-so classy.

Nothing this quarter has really challenged me, as far as my reading goes. The books I choose are pretty easy to understand. My goal for next quarter is to read the Bible. I'm gonna do it, goshdarnit! I always tell myself I will, but I never do. I mean, I'm usually trucking along pretty well until BAM! And then Isaac begot Jacob who begot Seth who begot (these are random names; I'm pretty sure that's not how it happened)... And so on. Anyways, I think it's a pretty good choice since a large chunk of the world live their lives by this book (or at least claim to).
Oh, also, I want to better divide my reading. I always find myself reading maybe 80 pages on Thursday night in order to meet the page requirement. And it's not that I dislike reading; I just always forget that reading's an option. Which sounds weird, but when I'm done with my homework, all I can think of is YouTube and sleep. Say hello to the next generation, everybody.

Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami continued

So Norwegian Wood kind of reminds me of Paper Towns. A little bit. Except the protagonist is more of a recluse. The difference here is Norwegian Wood is a lot more deeply rooted in reality, and things don't just conveniently fall into place (not that I'm discrediting Paper Towns; I liked it, but some parts of the book are a little too unrealistic). However, some of the similarities are rather notable: the ho-hum protagonist, the intangible love interest, and the plodding pace of the book.
Norwegian Wood, from a plot-only perspective, is pretty nondescript. It's about a boy going through college when his life is suddenly interrupted by a girl he knew from his high school years. They're connected through a tragedy. Suddenly, the girl disappears, and he must continue his life as usual, wondering why she left and what she's doing now. Along the way, he meets another girl, but then I stopped reading.
Again, the plot's pretty normal. But what I really love about the book is the writing. There's some really fantastic writing in here. I love the style of it, I love the imagery in it, and I love that nothing's left out, but nothing's added either. Norwegian Wood strike a pretty good balance between progressing the plot and showing off the writer's skill.
Before I leave, I'd like to applaud the unsung hero of Norwegian Wood, Jay Rubin, the translator. I mean, my God, talk about first class translating. All the little nuances in the writing could have easily been lost by a less-skilled translator. A+, Jay Rubin. A+.

Currently,

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie
Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami


This week: 163 pages
Last week: 172 pages
Semester total: 969 pages


Quotes of the Week Quarter


"Clutching these faded, fading, imperfect memories to my breast, I go on writing this book with all the desperate intensity of a starving man sucking on bones" (10). - Norwegian Wood


 "If you are alive, there is hope for a better day and something good to happen. If there is nothing good left in the destiny of a person, he or she will die" (54). - A Long Way Gone 


"...I would carry around a very specific form of physical anxiety that feels kind of like my heart shrinking up like a raisin" (201). - Bossypants


Okay, so my favorite one by far has to be the first one. I mean, hello? Talk about a brilliant quote. It's kind of a cheat (this is its first time appearing in one of my currently posts), but it's so good. I mean, I just love "the desperate intensity of a starving man sucking on bones." I can literally feel the bone in my mouth, I can see the emaciated man in the corner, and I know exactly what Murakami's talking about. Pure poetry. 


The only repeat from my other favorite quotes of ever post. The second quote appeals to me because it's such a good way to live. Forever the optimist because if today sucks, there's bound to be something good on the way. Or death. Whichever comes first. 


And even though it didn't make the cut last time, the third quote just so happened to appeal to me more today than it did a couple of weeks ago. I can totally relate to the feeling of my heart shrinking up like a raisin. It's just such a great way to explain such a distinct feeling. 

Reminder to me, reminder to me~

That's the Reminder Song. Sung to the tune of "Happy Birthday." I'll give you a singing demonstrate of it if you ask me about it. Maybe.

Books I need to finish:
- Columbine
- A Long Way Gone
- Battle Royale
- Norwegian Wood
- The Princess Bride


Needed to get that listed. Now I know. I think I'm gonna finish A Long Way Gone, then Columbine, then Norwegian Wood, then Battle Royale, and then Princess Bride. Okay. Now that that's settled. All is well.

And Then There Were None - The Finale

So I finished reading And Then There Were None. I really love Agatha Christie. So much. Just so much love for Agatha Christie.
Without giving away too much about the ending, the book closes with a note from the real murderer. So if you're like me and you like to take a peak at the ending before you finish a book--don't. At least not for this book. Because you'll quickly notice whodunnit.
Anyways, I think the most intriguing thing about the murderer is the reasoning behind why he/she set up this elaborate scheme on Indian Island. Once you read the ending, you realize how everything was constructed, and you go, "Oooh!" every time you draw connections between what the murderer admits and the events in the book.
Also, while I would never make the argument that Agatha Christie is a literary genius (she's a fantastic author, but the language she uses is pretty colloquial, nothing much to say about it, to be honest), she does have her moments. In And Then There Were None, this moment occurs when the murderer confesses that he/she has "a pitiful human wish that some one should know just how clever [he's/she's] been," referring to the well-tuned plot the murderer had come up with (274).

Overall, And Then There Were None is an awesome book. It represents a period of time in my book-reading life when I was obsessed with mystery novels, it brings back fond memories of my 6th grade field trip, and it just engrosses the reader. Although, I do admit that reading it the second or third time through is not nearly as thrilling as reading it the first time through. And understandably so. But anyways, I would recommend And Then There Were None to anyone. The language is simple enough so that even some well-read elementary students could understand it fairly well, but the plot is engaging enough so that people of all ages should enjoy the book. And Then There Were None really gets down to business. There's no dillydallying, so the plot races along at a really satisfying pace. My only criticism for the book, I guess, would be there are some situations that are a little too implausible or a little too convenient in my opinion. The murderer's plan could have gone wrong in ten different ways, but it just so happened to work. Iunno. It's not a big deal. Just go into the book open-minded. Read a chapter a day so you can kind of prolong the experience and mull over whodunnit. And I think you (dear reader) will find it to be a pretty quick and enjoyable read.

Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami

I was reading Norwegian Wood today (shout out to Elana). Didn't get too far. I read it at the end of the day after my psych test. While I haven't gotten fully engrossed in the plot, I really do love the language. It's just so good! It's hard to choose my favorite quotes because I try to not choose more than one quote per page. But look forward to my quotes this week. They'll be extremely koala tea. Extremely. Thanks to Haruki Murakami and whoever translated Norwegian Wood. It's a really good translation, and there's a lot more attention to detail as far as getting those lovely little phrases that make my little literary heart sing than there is in Battle Royale, though Battle Royale definitely dives into the plot a lot more quickly, but I digress.

So here's the main point of this post. Sorry it took so long. I found something online that pertained to my current reading. Thought it was pretty cool. And here it is. How to write like Haruki Murakami. You're welcome.

Also, I'll probably be writing an expanded version of a Norwegian Wood post after I read more of it tomorrow. I know the anticipation's just killing you, but calm yourselves.

Currently,

And Then There Were None, Agatha Christie

This week: 172 pages
Last week: 160 pages
Semester total: 806 pages
 
"Prisoners at the bar, have you anything to say in your defence?" (41). - And Then There Were None
"Seven people looked at each other and could find no words to say" (132). - And Then There Were None
"No more Indian trick to-night. I've seen to that..." (163). - And Then There Were None

And Then There Were None offers very little in terms of inventive and beautiful language. However, it does have a bit of foreshadowing and a spot of irony in there, so that's why I chose these particular quotes. I like the last one the most because it's said by one of my favorite characters in the book promptly before (s)he is murdered (slight spoiler). A bit of foreshadowing, a bit of irony. Can't go wrong with that.  

I am a bad reader.

It's official. I am the world's worst reader. It's not that I can't comprehend or interpret what I read; I'm actually pretty good at that. I'm just terrible at reading for pleasure. The current outstanding books I have (currently) are A Long Way Gone, Columbine, and And Then There Were None, and as soon as I pick up a new book, I forget all about the old ones. It's a problem.

So! Here's a solution. I'm going to finish And Then There Were None first. Because I need to remember the plot to make the trailer. Also, I'm getting close to my favorite of the murders. Then, I'll move on to A Long Way Gone because I've left poor Ishmael stranded in the jungles of Sierra Leone for long enough. And then I'll end with Columbine and move on to Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Because my mom actually has that right now. And I've been meaning to read it anyways, so it must be fate.

And Then There Were None - Agatha Christie

Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;

One choked his little self and then there were nine.

Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;

One overslept himself and then there were eight.

Eight little Indian boys travelling in Devon;

One said he'd stay there and then there were seven.

Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;

One chopped himself in half and then there were six.

Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;

A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.

Five little Indian boys going in for law;

One got in Chancery and then there were four.

Four little Indian boys going out to sea;

A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.

Three little Indian boys walking in the zoo;

A big bear hugged one and then there were two.

Two Little Indian boys sitting in the sun;

One got frizzled up and then there was one.

One little Indian boy left all alone;

He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

And Then There Were None is among my top ten favorite school-assigned books and probably among my top fifty favorite books in general. I read it in the 6th grade at the tail-end of my mystery novel reading phase, and I loved it. Also, immediately following the completion of And Then There Were None, the 6th grade ALPHA kids went on an overnight trip to Stone Lab, a branch of some college in Ohio, where we all hung out and dissected living-ish fish. Stone Lab is on an island. An island that is eerily similar to the one in And Then There Were None. With similar places. Including a particularly gruesome wood-chopping area. Needless to say, Agatha Christie's delightfully creative plotline and my experience at Stone Lab cemented And Then There Were None permanently in my head and heart.

Agatha Christie is the most well-published author in modern times (though, I guess she's not really modern but whatever; she lived in the last century). The only books that sell better than her are Shakespeare's and the Bible (according to the back of my copy of And Then There Were None). I'm pretty sure J. K. Rowling has surpassed her by now but still. Up until Harry Potter, Agatha Christie was number three. High five, Agatha Christie.

It's pretty easy to see why Christie was such a successful writer. While And Then There Were None is not a particularly challenging read, the plot is very engaging, and the ending is both clever and satisfying. It's difficult to describe a mystery novel in full detail without giving away too much, so I provide you with this bare bones summary of the plot:

Eight people are invited to go to Indian Island, a mysterious place that is rumored to have been purchased by either an eccentric millionaire or a film star. They are all invited under different pretenses. Some are hired. Some are asked to join a long-forgotten friend for a holiday. One comes with murder on his/her mind. The eight guests (who range from an elderly judge to a nanny/secretary to a general to a doctor and everything in between) are met by the two hired servants Mr. and Mrs. Rogers. The owner of Indian Island is absent. Soon after coming to the island, there is a slew of murders, and the island's occupants soon realize that there is a murderer among them. As they are killed one by one, they realize that their deaths resemble a poem tacked to their walls. Can they find the murderer before they all die?

Basically, I love this kind of stuff. I love a good murder mystery. And I also love those psychological books where a group of people are separated from society, and their humanity slowly deteriorates. Good stuff, man.

I'm really excited to put this in movie trailer form. I think it'll turn out pretty cool.

Also, if you read / have read this book, you should also see the movie. There are like ten million adaptations for this movie, but the one I saw was the 1945 film, And Then There Were None. I saw the black and white film, and I think the 1945 film is the only one old enough to have been shot in black and white. Fun fact, And Then There Were None was my first black and white film (unless you count that steamboat Mickey thing, which I don't). Anyways, it's a pretty good movie, if memory serves me correctly. Though that may not be the case because my 6th grade sensibilities thought pretty much everything was a good movie.

Currently,

Columbine, David Cullen
Battle Royale, Koushun Takami

This week: 160 pages
Last week: 102 pages
Semester total: 634 pages

"If you are alive, there is hope for a better day and something good to happen. If there is nothing good left in the destiny of a person, he or she will die" (54). - A Long Way Gone

“To say he was unfriendly would be the biggest understatement since the captain of the Hindenberg said, ‘I smell gas’” (61). - Bossypants

"So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on" (144). - Bossypants

The first quote is my favorite. I think it's really powerful, and it's just so gosh-darned thought-provoking. It also offers hope. Because as long as you're alive, something good is coming.

The following quotes tied for second and are from the immortal Miss Tina Fey. I like my second sentence because it's a great balance between humor and literary devices such as hyperbole and allusion. I like the third sentence because I think it's genuinely good advice. There's really no point in dealing with someone unless that person is integral to what you want in life. 

Battle Royale and a little bit of Columbine

So I've been reading Columbine quite a bit recently. It's pretty cool. There's a nonlinear progression, and the book skips from topic to topic, leaving you curious about the full details of the event. It's really effective in making the book just frustrating enough that you want to read a little more.

What a tease.

Anyways, since I've already discussed Columbine, and honestly, the following chapters are just more and more clarification on the initial chapters, I'm gonna touch on Koushun Takami's Battle Royale. Now, I'd heard of this book numerous times. And I was told that it was very interesting. And it is. But in a far more gruesome way than I'd thought.
First off, I think it's worth mentioning that Battle Royale was originally written in Japanese and then later translated into English. Thus, when you read it, it's written in perfect English, but some of the cultural differences may throw you for a loop. Also, everyone has a Japanese name. There are 42 students and probably around 50 characters introduced in the first couple of chapters. Can you differentiate between Yukie Utsumi, Yoji Kuramoto, Haruka Tanizawa, Tadakatsu Hatagami, and the rest of their classmates? Me neither. I mean, I'm starting to get the hang of it, and I have a feeling that it'll get easier as more and more people die, and there are less names to remember. But still. It's pretty challenging.
Now that that's settled, Battle Royale is considerably different from the books I've read this year. For one, it's fiction. Second, it's kind of a sci-fi, alternate universe type of thing. Which is something I don't typically read.
Anyways. Battle Royale takes place in an alternate reality Japan in which a lot of the Asian countries have united under one isolationist government. The government keeps a vice grip on its citizens, banning decadent things such as rock music and Andy Warhol. Shuya Nanahara is a junior high schooler who is going on a class trip with 41 of his fellow students. However, after a trip in a sleeping gas-filled bus, Shuya and his classmates wake up in a strange classroom with metal rings around their necks. They are told they are to be a part of the Program, a simulation run by the government in which a class is placed in an isolated area, and the students must kill each other until only one is left standing. The country's dictator claims that the Program exists to protect the nation, but Shuya and his classmates are horrified at the idea of killing each other.
I think I'll stop summarizing there just in case you want to read the book yourself. There are quite a few spoilers within the first chapter.
Anyways, Battle Royale strikes me as a very Lord of the Flies-y book. In fact, Lord of the Flies is mentioned on the back cover of Battle Royale. I'm not sure if I like it yet; some parts of the book are just too gruesome. But I do like a good survivor book. And Battle Royale happens to be one of the most notable books in Japanese literature. So I feel like I should give it a shot. I dunno. I'm gonna have to read some more Bossypants to balance this out.
I'd recommend Battle Royale if you like those kind of darkness of mankind, surviving in extreme situation things. But if you don't have a strong stomach, do not read this book. It will disappoint you.


Also, two notable things about this book.
1.) The "About the Translator" section says this: "Yuji Oniki is a writer and translator."
Gee. Thanks. Did not even consider that. How insightful!
2.) A quote in the beginning of the book reads like this: "A student is not a tangerine." - Kinpachi Sakamoto, Third Year Class B, Kinpachi Sensei
Yes. A student is not a tangerine because a student is a zengerine.
Badum-chh!

It's late. I'll stop making punny jokes.

Claims of the Day

Here are my claims of choice in no particular order.

• JimmehFTW - The painting's gritty texture, balanced use of space, selective use of colour, and dark tone leave the viewer a sense of depressing realization leading to a climactic finish. 
• Doctor Von Brown  - In Gene Kelly's "Good Morning" [an elegantly exquisite setting and excitingly exuberant style is] conveyed [through the delicate, and brisk attire and the frantic yet hysterical emotion of the actors.] 
• The Average Life of a Teenage Bookworm - In this flash mob by Todrick Hall, the mischievous and adventurous expressions, jubilant sounds, and bustling moves, show the explosive creativity and confident energy of the dancers. 
• Bud in the Garden - Leonid Afremov's vibrant use of color, flowing appearance, and realistic, silky texture illustrates a feeling of whimsical relaxation and majestic euphoria. 
• Intrusion of the Soul - In the album art for United Paper People's Kisschasy, the foreboding colors, overwhelming space, and perilous actions reflect a sense of destructive loneliness and irrational wonder.

I really enjoyed JimmehFTW's and The Average Life of a Teenage Bookworm's claims. For JimmehFTW, I liked the words he used. "Gritty" and "depressing realization" are really strong words, and they efficiently convey the author's thoughts. For The Average Life of a Teenage Bookworm, I love the words "jubilant" and "bustling" as well as the phrase "explosive creativity." I would never have described creativity as "explosive," but it works very well.

Intrusion of the Soul's album art is my favorite artifact. It's such a cool picture, and I kind of want to get the album now. Really badly.

Description Exercise: Todrick Hall's "I Wanna Be On Glee"

Todrick Hall, a former American Idol contestant best known for his Beyonce "End of Time" video and his McDonald's Drive Thru song, wants to be on Glee, Fox's hit show about the dramatic lives of some Glee Club members. 

Lyrics

• Clever
• Parodistic
• Sarcastic

Instrumental 

• Assertive beats
• Lush
• Gospel-like
• Vivacious

Choreography

• Emphatic 
• Snappy 
• Effervescent
• Allusive

Attire

• Youthful
• Trendy
• Coordinated

Video / Picture

• Vibrant
• Playful
• Focused
• Sweeping

CLAIM

In Todrick Hall's "I Wanna Be On Glee," Hall's plea to Glee creator Ryan Murphy shows Hall's inventiveness and artistic talents through the music video's cleverly parodistic lyrics, assertive instrumentals, and effervescent choreography.

Poet of the Month - James Merrill

I mentioned in a previous post that "Charles on Fire" by James Merrill is my favorite poem. Therefore, he gets to be my poet of the month. Dundundundaaah.
So I looked at some of his poems. And some are quite nice and others were not as appealing. But I liked "The Black Swan." I think it's interesting, a living question. It's something that's intangible, sad, and beautiful. But the great thing about it is even if you don't "get it," you can just sit back and let the words wash over you. 

The Black Swan

Black on flat water past the jonquil lawns

       Riding, the black swan draws

A private chaos warbling in its wake,

Assuming, like a fourth dimension, splendor   

That calls the child with white ideas of swans   

       Nearer to that green lake

    Where every paradox means wonder.

Though the black swan’s arched neck is like   

       A question-mark on the lake,

The swan outlaws all possible questioning:   

A thing in itself, like love, like submarine   

Disaster, or the first sound when we wake;

       And the swan-song it sings

    Is the huge silence of the swan.

Illusion: the black swan knows how to break   

       Through expectation, beak

Aimed now at its own breast, now at its image,   

And move across our lives, if the lake is life,   

And by the gentlest turning of its neck

       Transform, in time, time’s damage;

    To less than a black plume, time’s grief.

Enchanter: the black swan has learned to enter   

       Sorrow’s lost secret center

Where like a maypole separate tragedies

Are wound about a tower of ribbons, and where   

The central hollowness is that pure winter

       That does not change but is

    Always brilliant ice and air.

Always the black swan moves on the lake; always

       The blond child stands to gaze   

As the tall emblem pivots and rides out

To the opposite side, always. The child upon   

The bank, hands full of difficult marvels, stays

       Forever to cry aloud

    In anguish: I love the black swan.

Currently,

Columbine, David Cullen

This week: 102 pages
Last week: 127 pages
Semester total: 474 pages

Sentences of the Week: 

"Columbine quickly overshadowed the war" (52).
"The public couldn't wait that long. The media wasn't about to. They speculated" (67).
"Perhaps now America would wake up to the dimensions of this challenge, if it could happen in a place like Littleton" (93).

I liked the first quote because it shows two things. The first was that Americans will always care about domestic issues as opposed to international issues. The second was that the magnitude of the Columbine attack
I liked the second quote because it showed that many of the greatest misunderstandings of the world are the result of impatience.
My favorite quote this week is probably the last one, an excerpt from President Clinton's speech about Columbine. "...if it could happen in a place like Littleton," it could easily happen to a place like Fort Wayne. And that's what affected me most when reading Columbine. Columbine High School is just too similar to Homestead High School for me to be comfortable.

Columbine - Dave Cullen

I don't know if everyone does this, but whenever I read a book, I like to picture the setting and characters in my head. When I read Columbine, I picture Homestead. 

The similarities between the two are eerie and a little unnerving. Suburban. Around 2,000 students. Affluent neighborhood. Despite the brown brick building with green glass on the cover of the book, I saw the white halls of Homestead. 

Columbine is a detailed account of the Columbine Massacre, the deadliest high school shooting in America. But Columbine's not just a police report. It's a story. It follows the lives of the killers, the victims, and the witnesses and leads up to the shooting. It fleshes out people, not just characters, and it's a lot different from just watching it on television. On television, these people are faces. You don't know anything about them. They're distant. One of the successes in Columbine is convincing the reader that Eric Harris, one of the shooters, could've been the kid who served you pizza and Dylan Klebold, the other shooter, could've been your prom date. 

When reading Columbine, it's difficult not to put yourself into the incident. I found myself thinking about where I would be at around 11:19 (for reference, I'd be in the art room), what I'd do once the shootings began (sit around oblivious for a while, drawing), what I'd do once I was aware of the shootings (hide in a cupboard or climb out the waist-level windows), and whether or not I'd survive (probably because the majority of deaths happened in areas with lots of students). I then thought about everyone I knew with A lunch. They would've been the likely targets. I thought about which of my friends would likely be in the library (where a lot of people were attacked by the shooters). I thought about the actual victims at Columbine I thought about my parents' reactions. Would they try to call me? Would I call back? Or would that be too dangerous? Would I be bused to a safe place and frantically search for my parents? Would they find me? 

But the biggest question in my mind, and what I imagine was in the minds of everyone who read this, was why? Eric and Dylan led reasonably good lives. They had friends, they weren't outcasts, they were smart, they had futures. So why? Honestly, I'm not really sure yet. Because I have to stop reading and do other homework. But nonetheless. 

There was a lot of mystery surrounding Columbine. And thanks to our instant gratification-based society, we had to know who, how many, and why immediately after (and during) the massacre. To satisfy this need, there was false information. Suddenly, there were hundreds of shooters with an array of personal problems that ranged from playing violent videogames to being Goth to being the victims of bullying. 

I really can't wait to pick up this book again. It is engaging. It is informative. I really want to know why Columbine happened and how it affected the community afterwards. 

Homestuck - Andrew Hussie

So I don't know if this is even applicable to the reading blog. Because it's sort of a book. Kind of. If you consider online graphic novels with the occasional Flash movie cut-scenes books, then yes. I suppose this is a book.

Homestuck is a webcomic on the website MS Paint Adventures. It's sort of organized in a play format with acts and an intermission. Except this is a colossal, mega play with thousands of pages and seven acts (but not really because it's unfinished). I've read a little over 3000 pages at this point. Which is slightly ridiculous. But moving on. The set-up of Homestuck sort of looks like a choose-your-own-adventure game, but you're only ever given one choice. Thus defeating the purpose of the choose-your-own-adventure format.

Anyways, it's hard to explain. But basically it's just super cool and also has really great soundtracks. Except, now it's gaining in popularity, so my hipster senses are getting very angry at the webcomic becoming more mainstream (which I acknowledge on a conscious level as being absolute crap, but I can't help it).


Okay, so explaining the plot of Homestuck is quite possibly the most difficult thing in the world. The plot is filled with time-travel and paradoxes and, more often than not, doesn't even follow the main plot line, but instead goes into charming but completely confusing offshoots. If Homestuck had a literary cousin, that literary cousin would be Catch-22. You don't start putting the pieces together until about halfway in. And it makes it really hard to fully explain the scope of the webcomic without giving away vital plot information.
But I'll try to touch on the key elements of the plot without giving away too much. So, the first character you're introduced to is John Egbert, screen name ectoBiologist. He's the hero of the story. Kind of. It is his birthday, and he has just received a copy of a new game called Sburb. But not really because it is intercepted by his dad. The nefarious cretin! Mischief ensues and pretty soon, meteors come falling from the sky. With the help of his three best friends (who are introduced later), he must... do something that has yet to be explained.
Like I said, really confusing.

The overlapping and seemingly unconnected plotlines are, at times, a pain in the rear. But once they start connecting to each other, and you get your "Ah-ha!" moment, it's a lot easier to read through. The four main characters are charming (one's an idiot; one's a sort-of-goth; one's a hipster; and one has narcolepsy). The eventual supporting cast is equally as fun (and perhaps better). The graphics are pretty good. The music is superb. And the writing is absolute gold. Chock-full of humor and vocabulary-enhancing goodies (such as mendicant, abscond, peregrine, echelon, aplomb, and other words I only wish I knew).

Try it if you have time and patience. Try it with an open mind. If not, you're just going to end up irritated.
Also, this is largely a fantasy, adventure, comedy thing. There's virtually no romance or drama or any other genre. Look elsewhere for that nonsense.

Currently,

Bossypants, Tina Fey
The Princess Bride, William Goldman
A Long Way Gone, Ishmael Beah

This week: 127 pages
Last week: 117 pages
Semester Total: 372 pages


Sentences of the Week:


"This was one of the consequences of civil war. People stopped trusting each other, and everyone became an enemy" (37).
"If you are alive, there is hope for a better day and something good to happen. If there is nothing good left in the destiny of a person, he or she will die" (54).
"Our innocence had been replaced by fear and we had become monsters" (55).

I thought all of the quotes were pretty powerful. They talk about things like the consequences of war, the nature of living, and the loss of innocence. Which is pretty profound.
My favorite of the three has to be the second one. I think it's a great way to think about life. There's always something better around the corner. Unless you die. Then you're just kind of at the end.

The final installment of Bossypants and A Long Way Gone

Parting is always bittersweet. It's okay, Tina. Control your tears. We'll meet again some other time.
The third act of Bossypants (which really isn't the third act at all because Bossypants, like many other nonfiction books, isn't divided into acts; therefore, when I say "the third act," I truly mean "the third time I picked up this book") centers around Tina Fey and her family (specifically her daughter, Alice). She talks about breastfeeding, a labor of love that she endured for 72 hours; spending Christmases with the in-laws; things she wants for her daughter (in the form of a prayer); and the possibility of her having a second child. She ends by saying that "everything will be fine" no matter if Alice remains an only child or if she (Tina) decides to have another child (275).
Bossypants ends the way it started. With humor. And for that, I am eternally grateful because Fey could've easily screwed over a perfectly good book with the sappy Hollywood finish. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed Bossypants. It was a quick and interesting read with large print, generous margins, and frequent photographs. Just kidding, I was genuinely more interested in the contact than I was in meeting homework requirements. I would recommend this to anyone. While the content is directed more towards women, I think men could learn something and be entertained by the book as well. I mean, what man doesn't want to talk about female puberty and breastfeeding?
Oh, and for the record, after looking up Tina Fey on Wikipedia, I would like to say three things.
1.) Tina Fey did indeed have a second child (a girl named Penelope) in August 2011.
2.) Tina Fey's husband, Jeff, is much shorter than she is. Though I'm not sure if he actually is shorter or if Tina's just wearing some really extreme heels.
3.) Tina Fey is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this year. Snaps for Tina Fey.

Anyways, after indulging in Bossypants, I felt like I should read something heavier. Something with more sustenance. So I picked up A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It has a lovely cover (I love the photography and the composition of it). Because, I'll admit, a large part in whether or not I'll read a book is the cover.
So A Long Way Gone  is a memoir written about Ishmael Beah's experience growing up in Sierra Leone in the midst of a rebellion. A twelve year-old Beah must leave his family, survive living in a war-torn area, and forgive himself for his mistakes. While many books in literature tried to tackle the loss of humanity and innocence (I'm looking at you Lord of the Flies and Heart of Darkness), I think A Long Way Gone is even more powerful because I found myself finishing a chapter and stopping to remind myself that this really happened. Beah's first-person narrative is really strong. It is simple, and it's almost journalistic.
When reading A Long Way Gone, I was reminded of The Rape of Nanking, which is an excellent book about the historical incident, the Rape of Nanjing (which is my family's hometown). Don't read it if you don't have a strong stomach (it literally gave me nightmares and made me feel physically ill after I read it).
But enough drawing connections. Back to the book. So far, Beah has been separated from his mother and father and is later separated from his brother. He has encountered the rebels multiple times, and each time they are inhumane and armed with heavy artillery. He stays in the forest for a while and then runs into a group of boys. He joins them, and wherever they go, people are wary of them and either watch them constantly or run away from them. One of the most moving passages in A Long Way Gone, at least in my opinion, is a passage when the boys reach an abandoned city. There is only an old man left awaiting his death. He invites the boys to eat dinner with him. When asked for his name, he asks to be remembered only as the old man the boys had met on their way to a safer city. He doesn't want them to waste a memory for his name. As the boys leave, Beah looks back to see the old man sitting on his porch. He is not afraid for his own life. Rather, he is afraid for the lives of the seven boys. It made me wonder how long it takes for a person to come to terms with their own mortality. Do some people never come to terms with their mortality? What has to happen before you come to terms with your mortality?
A Long Way Gone provides a stark contrast to Fey's Bossypants. It's much more narrative-driven and deals with a darker subject matter. I find it equally enjoyable but in a much different way.

The Princess Bride - William Goldman

So through some act of divine intervention (by which I mean I was perusing my old books to find a suitable passage for an AP Comp assignment), I picked up my copy of The Princess Bride. I got this about 4 years ago during the summer after my 7th grade year. I read it for a Creative Writing summer class. And it was pretty good but definitely not one of my favorite books ever.
So I browsed through it (again, looking for a passage for AP Comp), and I realized that William Goldman's a pretty good writer. Heck, he's kind of witty even.
And that's how I started re-reading The Princess Bride. 


Before I get into the fun details of The Princess Bride, let me just say that you've probably heard of it in some way shape or form. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Ring any bells? Giant monster rats. Poisoned chalices. The usual. Well, if you've never read the book, chances are, you've seen the movie. Which, if memory serves me correctly, wasn't that bad. Although, I watched it when I was 8, and back then, nothing was bad.


Anyways, I'm still trekking through the exposition. And Goldman has just introduced The Princess Bride as a "classic tale of true love and high adventure" written by one S. Morgenstern. So we're taken through a short prologue about Goldman's life (I'll admit it; I skimmed this part because it does not have true love or high adventure), and we finally get to the good stuff.
So Goldman/Morgenstern introduces Buttercup. Our female protagonist. She's really pretty. In fact, she's so pretty, that she's maybe in the top 20 prettiest women in the world. But only based on potential. She gets prettier with age. Anyways, she has this farm boy. She calls him, fittingly enough, Farm Boy. She orders him around, and he replies with, "As you wish." Buttercup and family are visited by a Countess who happens to have much interest in Farm Boy. This makes Buttercup incredibly jealous and realize her love for Farm Boy (who's real name is Westley). And as it turns out, he loves her back. Yay. Rejoice. But not for too long, because Westley is leaving for America to seek his fortune. That is. Until the ship he's on is attacked by pirates. Thinking Westley is dead, Buttercup swears to never love again.

Though the beginning to The Princess Bride is almost romantic to a fault, I do enjoy William Goldman's references to the list of the most beautiful women in the world and Buttercup's ascension to the top of this list. And okay, I also kind of like the cheesy, lovey-dovey lines (reference: "...if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches" (54)). I mean, they're dopey, but this is also one of the greatest romances of all time. So you can afford to be a little dopey.

Anyways, looking forward to reading a book that I haven't read in years. Maybe I'll appreciate it more this time around.

Currently,

Bossypants, Tina Fey 

This week: 117 pages

Last week: 128 pages
Semester Total: 245 pages

(In my defense, a large chunk of my free time is no longer spent on Facebook; it is spent on sleeping. Which I believe is a worthwhile endeavor. Even if it does cut into my limited reading time. But now I'm just making excuses for myself.) 

Sentences of the Week:

"...the women I know in comedy are all good daughters, good citizens, mild-mannered college graduates. Maybe we women gravitate toward comedy because it is a socially acceptable way to break rules and a release from our daily life" (138). - Bossypants

"So my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on" (144). - Bossypants

"...I would carry around a very specific form of physical anxiety that feels kind of like my heart shrinking up like a raisin" (201). - Bossypants

I liked the first quote because I think it's an interesting take on women in comedy. The funniest women I know are nothing like the big-mouthed, loud women on MadTV. They're soft-spoken and more reminiscent of Michael Cera than of Eddie Murphy (unfortunately, I can't think of very many female comedians people would recognize). 

I liked the second quote because it really confirmed for me that Bossypants is indeed at least a little bit a self-help book for women in the workplace. But I ignored this and moved on. 

The last quote is possibly my favorite because I know that exact feeling. I get it whenever I check my grades on Powerschool, whenever I take a big test, and whenever I have to make a really difficult jump on a really excellent videogame. 

A Cactus for your Friday

I actually really like cacti. Mostly because I suck at growing things.
I have two very detailed memories of my kindergarten class. The first was when we learned to chew gum properly. The second was when we planted bean sprouts for science. My classmates and I were instructed to created a deep thumbprint in the dirt, put our sprout seeds in the thumbprint, cover with dirt, and water a little bit every day. While everyone else's bean sprouts eventually poked their little sprout-y heads out of the dirt, mine did nothing. So when we took our sprouts home, everyone had baby vegetation, and I had a pot of dirt.
Therefore, I really like cacti. I've had three, and I've only killed one (to my credit, I left it alone for a month when I went to China, so if I was there, maybe it wouldn't have died). My policy is that if you can easily kill it, don't raise it. Leave it to the zoo or something and take pictures. The only exception to this rule is human babies. You can't find them in zoos. So just be extra careful when you're raising those.
But anyways, here's a cactus for your Friday. The first of many (hopefully).

More Bossypants (by the forever lovely Miss Tina Fey)!

So I read some more Bossypants. How exciting. I'm trying to ration it into portions because it's really good, and I want it to last forever. Also, it's a nonfiction book, so unlike reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, it's not like I'm ripping through the book thinking, "I need to know the end! Is Tina a horcrux? Does she die at the end?" No. I know for a fact that Tina Fey does not die at the end. However, I remain uncertain as to whether or not she is a horcrux. This requires further investigation.

I decided that doing a plot summary of each chapter, while fun, was far too time-consuming, so I'll give you the quick and dirty version of what happened in the second half of Tina Fey's book. Here, we find Tina Fey finally joining the ranks of the legendary SNL show. She is barely hired. Later, she goes on to write a pilot for 30 Rock. The show is almost not broadcasted but makes it on national television (thank you, Alec Baldwin). Being a part of 30 Rock, Fey spends a lot of time teetering between "Acting on SNL" stress levels and "Coal Mining in the U.S." stress levels. Her stress culminates into a three-ring circus of stress when she (successfully) juggles getting Oprah on 30 Rock, being Sarah Palin on SNL, and planning her daughter's Peter Pan-themed birthday party. The final chapter I read was about how Tina Fey portrayed Sarah Palin on SNL.
Also, it's worth mentioning that there are two chapters smushed between SNL and 30 Rock. They are "Amazing, Gorgeous, Not Like That" and "Dear Internet." "Amazing, Gorgeous, Not Like That" is a step-by-step guide to doing a good photoshoot with a little blurb about Photoshop at the end (for the record, Tina Fey is pro-Photoshop, particularly when it comes to eliminating her shark eyes). "Dear Internet" is a series of fan letters and Fey's responses. Fan mail topics include fixing Tina Fey's hideous scar; Tina Fey being an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll; Tina Fey ruining SNL; Tina Fey being sexually harassed; and Tina Fey being ugly despite her plastic surgery. As predicted, Miss Fey responds with class and poise and the occasional f-bomb.

Tina Fey does not disappoint. Even though this part of her book made me realize that Bossypants is part self-help book (something that I will never admit because I can legitimately get away with passing it off as an autobiography which sounds cooler than a self-help book), I still really enjoyed it. I don't know if you've picked up on this, but I happen to really enjoy Tina Fey's humor, and I'm making it my business to meet her before one of us dies.

It's impossible to write 365 bad sonnets in a row

While I was looking for the text for "Charles on Fire" online, I found a blog called The Sonnet Project. Which I thought was pretty weird considering "Charles on Fire," to my knowledge, is not a sonnet. But anyways. I haven't gone through it yet, but I think it's worth mentioning because the subtitle for the blog says, "A professor of writing once told his class that a good project would be to write a sonnet every day for a year. It was absolutely impossible, he said, to write 365 bad sonnets in a row. I've always wondered if he was write."

I thought it was cool. But maybe that's just because I'm a nerd.


LINK: http://thesonnetproject.blogspot.com/

"Charles on Fire" by James Merrill

A little preface, this is one of the poems we looked at in AP Lit last year, and it's my personal favorite of all the poems we read (though it may or may not be my favorite poem, as I have yet to decide between it and "Hope is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson). I think "Charles on Fire" has some of the most well-written and well-used poetic devices I've ever seen. It's elegant without being pretentious. It's complex but not at the cost of losing its original meaning. It comments on social issues without being preachy. And it's just beautiful. 

Another evening we sprawled about discussing
Appearances. And it was the consensus
That while uncommon physical good looks
Continued to launch one, as before, in life
(Among its vaporous eddies and false claims),
Still, as one of us said into his beard,
"Without your intellectual and spiritual
Values, man, you are sunk." No one but squared
The shoulders of their own unlovliness.
Long-suffering Charles, having cooked and served the meal,
Now brought out little tumblers finely etched
He filled with amber liquor and then passed.
"Say," said the same young man, "in Paris, France,
They do it this way"--bounding to his feet
And touching a lit match to our host's full glass.
A blue flame, gentle, beautiful, came, went
Above the surface. In a hush that fell
We heard the vessel crack. The contents drained
As who should step down from a crystal coach.
Steward of spirits, Charles's glistening hand
All at once gloved itself in eeriness.
The moment passed. He made two quick sweeps and
Was flesh again. "It couldn't matter less,"
He said, but with a shocked, unconscious glance
Into the mirror. Finding nothing changed,
He filled a fresh glass and sank down among us.

The 13 Clocks - James Furber & Other Fun Things

I have actually yet to read this book or even see this book. I just really want to read it. Because I am secretly a 2 year-old, and I really like fairy tale books. No shame.
Other books that I really want to read:

The Bible - It's one my bucket list! I've tried (and failed) so many times.
Merriam Webster Dictionary - Also on my bucket list! I read one of those children's dictionaries when I was younger (nerdiest thing ever), but it wasn't that long (what a nerd), so I want to get through an actual dictionary (oh my gosh, I can't handle all the nerdiness).
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Because I want to see the movie, but I want to read the book first.
Pride and Prejudice - Because apparently every girl ever has read this book, and I want to join that exclusive club.
Confessions of a Shopaholic - No judgement!
David Copperfield - To compensate for Confessions To say to all of my AP Lit friends who were required to read it last year, "Oh. It wasn't that long. I thought it was pretty cool."
The Joy Luck Club - I'm Asian.
Memoirs of a Geisha - Again, Asian.
War and Peace - Because every true intellectual has read this book (not really, but it sounds pretty cool).
Something by Kafka - Mostly shock factor. Kafka, to me, is like a literary Lady Gaga. And I just gotta read something.
Dracula - So I can read some real vampire literature.
Some trashy, campy vampire book - So I can make fun of vampire literature
The WalMart Effect - Quite frankly, I just think it sounds cool.
Columbine - I think the incident is really fascinating, especially the psychology behind it.
Queen Bees and Wannabes - It's the book that inspired Mean Girls.
Devil in the White City - I'm actually fascinated by those true-crime things and watch Dateline frequently. I also watch reality TV and court TV. I am the trashiest TV watcher in the world.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - A friend recommended it. I was fascinated.
Something by Agatha Christie - I really liked And Then There Were None. I want to read more.
Middlesex - Hooray for gender confusion! Also, it's supposed to be really good.
Never Let Me Go - Apparently it's great. I dunno. I'll find out soon enough.
Fast Food Nation - I like the cover.
Atonement - I like the premise of the story.
Me Talk Pretty One Day - This book title has got some 'splainin' to do. Also, I like the plot summaries for it.
Everything is Illuminated - Cool cover.

And now that I've spent a solid hour thinking of books I've heard of in the past and present, I think this is a solid list that'll get me through the year.

Friday

I am an extraverted, intuitive, thinking, judging person, as it turns out. Otherwise known as an ENTJ. Other famous ENTJ's include Napolean Bonaparte, Hillary Clinton, and Margaret Thatcher, so I think I'm amongst good company.
Basically, we ENTJ's are good leaders who rely more on reason than feeling. We're goal-oriented and logical.
While I don't like to invest too much into thinking about personality tests. I think they provide accurate but very generalized analyses of people. I mean, yeah, I do make a lot of decisions based on logic, but if my friends and family are dying in a burning building, I might feel more inclined to make some illogical decisions. Well, the point I'm trying to make is that while it's always fun to get a feel for who you are, I find that people take these tests and treat their results like the gospel truth.
It reminds me of back in the day when girls started to discover horoscopes and decided that "Oh, I'm an Aries. I have a fiery personality," and "So you're a Virgo? We can no longer be friends, as I am a Gemini." My point being that the results of these things become more or less expectations we must fulfill rather than descriptions of who we are.
Therefore, while I do appreciate the insight, as a very intuitive and thinking (as well as extraverted and judging) individual, I kind of already knew what kind of result I would get. It was fun though. Nevertheless.

Currently,

Un Lun Dun, China Mieville

The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman

Bossypants, Tina Fey 

This week: 128 pages

Last week: An indiscernible number of pages

Sentences of the Week:

“Globalization 3.0 makes it possible for so many more people to plug in and play, and you are going to see every color of the human rainbow take part” (11). - The World is Flat

“‘Being gay is not a choice. Gay people were made that way by God,’ I’d lectured Mr. Garth proudly. But it took me another whole year to figure out the second part: ‘Gay people were made that way by God, but not solely for my entertainment’” (42). - Bossypants

“To say he was unfriendly would be the biggest understatement since the captain of the Hindenberg said, ‘I smell gas’” (61). - Bossypants


I liked the first quote because I liked the phrase "human rainbow." It sounds like a cheerleading position. Like a human pyramid but cheerier. 
I liked the second quote because I can relate to Tina Fey as I too have made this realization at one point in my life (however, my friend was black, and I was around 5, not 17, when I discovered this). 
And I liked the last one because the Hindenberg is one of my favorite historical disasters.This quote also happens to take the cake for best quote of the week. 

Bossypants

I am in love with Tina Fey’s brain.

Tina Fey begins her book Bossypants by saying there are a couple reasons as to why someone would read her book. One reason is to raise “an achievement-oriented, drug-free, adult virgin” (3). Awesome. 

Anyways, Tina Fey then goes into a short chapter about how she was a happy accident to a pair of forty-something year-old parents and about how she received a scar to the face from a stranger at a young age. No worries though. This scar proved handy in later years, making her the recipient of candy and pity throughout her childhood.

The next chapter talks about Tina Fey “growing up and liking it” (11). It basically talks about Fey’s first period and gynecologist appointment as well as a really rocking white denim suit.

The book then turns a corner, and Fey turns her attention to body image issues. As she puts it, girls today are supposed to have:

• Caucasian blue eyes
• full Spanish lips
• a classic button nose
• hairless Asian skin with a California tan
• a Jamaican dance hall ass
• long Swedish legs
• small Japanese feet
• the abs of a lesbian gym owner
• the hips of a nine-year-old boy
• the arms of Michelle Obama
• and doll tits

She on the other hand has Greek eyebrows, droopy eyes, a wad of lower-back fat, dough-around-a-soda-can hips, and flat, pale feet amongst other equally desirable features. Fey abides by one rule of beauty: “Who cares?” (114) 

The next chapter talks about Fey’s experience at a local theatre filled with heartbreaker boyfriends, blonde dancers, and a handful of gay and lesbian friends. Here, Fey begins to deviate from her more generic childhood memories and talks more about her introduction to the theatre. Except in the funniest way possible. 

Fey then takes a break from talking about her life, and instead talks about her father. Who is, apparently, a truly awe-inspiring man who fey describes as a “badass” (48). 

The next chapter is a quick and dirty rundown of Fey’s college years. By which I mean it’s a story about how Fey tries to find love in college, climbs a mountain for a guy she likes, and climbs down the mountain as boyfriend-less as ever. Oh, Tina.

Next, in the post-college era, Fey gets a job at the YMCA, convinces herself that she likes this job, and then realizes that it sucks and that she would much rather be doing improv. 

And this brings us to the next chapter which is about Fey’s time with the Second City improv group. Except not really because she was a newbie, and newbies don’t get to perform at the Second City theatre in Chicago but instead tour the city visiting small companies and church basements. Fey shares some secrets to great improv, the most important of which is to agree with everything, and then gets promoted to an actual comedian for Second City (but only because Amy Poehler moved to New York). 

Next chapter? A cruise excursion slash honeymoon slash near-death experience in which Fey and her husband, Jeff, get stuck on a cruise ship that nearly goes up in flames. No big deal. 

Next chapter’s a list of Fey’s beauty tips, one of which is “space lasers” (106). 

The subsequent two chapters are about what it’s like to be “very very skinny” and “a little bit fat” (115, 117). 

And that’s where I stopped. 

Tina Fey’s Bossypants is a quick and enjoyable read for a number of reasons, the main ones being Tina Fey is hilarious and the book has rather large print and the occasional page-consuming picture. I would recommend this book to any of my female friends as it touches on some issues that are very important (especially to girls) such as body image, (lack of) love, and discrimination in the workplace. The great thing about Fey’s book is that while it does touch on some hard issues, it talks about them in the funniest way possible whether it be through Fey’s childhood stories or through a sarcastic list peppered with Fey’s trademark biting wit. 

I thoroughly enjoyed Bossypants and would recommend it over The World is Flat and Un Lun Dun any day. Can’t wait to read it some more next week.